Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Pants are for mortals
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
