member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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