ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
