We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
