The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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