I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My ass is underappreciated
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
