you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When are your genitals available?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
