Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
