I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize