OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
