Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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