she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she peed on how many people?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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