shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
