Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
