It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
