Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
