i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize