you guys were way drunker than both of me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
