I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
