watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
