Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i want to swaddle you in tequila
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
