you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
