a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
