Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
