clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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