based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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