HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
