If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
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Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize