Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
