evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize