i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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