I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
