Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
