I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
