If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
honey bunches of taint.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
