I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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