I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
