there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize