need another drink. this is the easiest way
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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