I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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