i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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