Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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