i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize