You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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