She is in my trunk
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
