He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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