And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
