I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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