The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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