you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
