I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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