just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
