Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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