How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
