Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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