I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize