No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
