We're facebook friends in real life
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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