i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
