We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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