he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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