Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
