His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Boobs are out for the taking
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
