Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
