also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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