From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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