He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I need to sanitize my soul.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
