THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
