i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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