Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
