super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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