sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
