The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
