i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
