Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Acid is not a monday night drug
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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