We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
