Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
